“If you come to the table picking a side, your only choice is War.”
~ Pitch.Black.Zen ~

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The more you struggle to control your descent, the more awkward and out of control you fall. You desperately cling to control, to stop this from happening. You don’t even consider that there's another way, no time to think!

As you pass others on the way down, you notice you're falling faster and harder than anyone else. This increases your Fear, like a vicious circle it’s getting worse. How could this be happening?!?

The trauma of the experience has fully gripped your psyche, you know deep down that it’s changed you. You’ll never be the same again, that thought makes it even worse. If you even survive this ordeal, falling through the screaming abyss. Things will be different.

Eventually you notice that some of the people you’ve been passing are apparently at ease, almost like they are “in control” of their fall... they seem to have a grace and poise that’s in direct contrast to your desperate, chaotic flailing.

How could they possibly be at ease with this severely uncontrollable situation?

What do these people have about them that you do not?

What do they know that you don’t?

Do they actually know "how to fall"?

Have they come to terms with the reality of the situation; that there is no control to be had.

Have they gone through the trauma to come out the other side, only to realize they're still alive, still falling. Has nothing has changed; except their response to it. Has facing their Fear released the tension that was paralyzing them, allowing them to breath, which has allowed them to think things through with clarity; not Panic.

Perhaps if you stop resisting, open yourself up to the freefall... accept the Fear. Then come to realize; wait, you’re still falling. Why are you still falling? How deep is this hole anyway? It’s certainly been a long time now, and you don’t see any sign of things changing. So, perhaps…

All those people you've been passing aren't falling...

Choosing the side of resistance had crippled your ability to think clearly, leaving you paralyzed and more vulnerable than you ever thought possible. You didn’t face the situation with an acceptance of either outcome, and that broke you. You chose War, and you lost.

Next time, simply engage the experience as a matter of fact. If it’s your time, it’s your time. If you don’t like one side of the potential outcome over the other, work diligently to make thoughtful moves that may sway the circumstances in your favor… but do so with a focused clarity and flexibility to accept things if they don’t turn out the way you wanted.

Don’t torture yourself with the things you cannot control, lean into them and move past with poise and grace… then instantly forget them and move onto the next.